Adopt-An-I-Way

By Jaci M. Elliott

Count me among my aunt, an octogenarian friend, and even writer David Sedaris,

As one of the roadside trash warriors of the world.

Having moved five years ago to rural Central Texas,

I have pick up trash along Farm-to-Market routes near our property,

Which were recently quilted in a rainbow of spring wildflowers.

I used to walk, but now, in case I need to outrun the occasional and commonly aggressive canine,

I take our Honda Recon, which is outfitted with a crate, several plastic bags and a bungee cord.

The recyclables are separated from the refuse with the most popular items being:

Lone Star beer cans, store brand water bottles and Whataburger cups,

Presumably tossed, in order, by the following drivers:

Young males, construction workers, or local grab-and-go families,

All of whom are much too lazy.

Bleached armadillo hide is a dead-ringer (if you’ll pardon the expression) for Styrofoam pieces.

Scorpions and fire ants are known hazards.

My biggest haul yet probably filled four kitchen-sized garbage cans.

My most unusual find was a girls’ pony saddle, decked out in pink leather trim and missing the horn.

Thankfully, our local trash collection center is also a large recycling center.

Most travelers, when they see me in my gloves and reflective vest,

Will give me the standard two-fingered wave from their steering wheel.

Once, a passing farmer asked me how much money I got for the aluminum.

I told him I don’t turn anything in for money;

My satisfaction comes from seeing just the wild and the flowers along our country roads.

He thanked me for improving our little highway and apologized for our slovenly neighbors. 

Made my day, to be appreciated for just doing my part, our part.